19 Nov 2008
Hands
As I lay there, in the semi-darkness of the CTCC (Cardio-Thoracic Critical Care) unit, many feelings and emotions coursed through me. Fully awake after almost 18 hours of drug-induced unconsciousness I began to reflect on how I felt.
Despite the seemingly vast amount of tubing and wiring attached to me I felt serenely calm. Not a drug-induced calm by any means. No, this was a feeling that seemed to surround me, completely. Indeed, on the ward the previous morning, waiting for my large dose of Temazepam I was amazed at how calm I felt. It hadn’t been like that when I had my knee surgery; I was a gibbering wreck by the time the pre-med arrived. And this time I’d had to wait even longer. All very strange.
Gazing into the middle distance during this contemplation, suddenly, distinctly, I felt a large, warm hand placed gently on my left thigh, squeezing gently, reassuringly. I drew my gaze to that side of the bed immediately. Nothing there except the wall. My bed was in the far corner of the unit (as you can see in the picture); someone would have to walk the length of the room and around to the other side of the bed to touch me like that. The only person in view was one of the nurses, across the aisle, her back to me, engrossed in another patient’s observations. And this had been a man’s hand, I’m sure of it. Again, strangely, there was no sense of confusion, amazement or fear. I felt completely calm and reassured; exactly what that hand had meant to convey.
Later that same night it happened again, only this time on the top of my head. Twice. A lingering, loving touch obviously designed to let me know I was being watched over.
You may think I was hallucinating. You may think I was touched by angels. I don’t know what to think except that all the love, support, positive vibes and prayers being sent my way manifested themselves in the tangible, physical form of those hands and the general feeling of peace I experienced. Whatever it was, I do believe I have all of you to thank for it.
Wow! There were literally hundreds of people praying for you, as you know – many of those you don’t know and will never meet. Our prayers were not that God would be with you and take care of you – we knew that he was doing that already! Our prayers were that you would know that to be true – to sense His peace and calm and that you would feel Him enveloping you in a huge hug – I think He did just that! x x x x x
Linz
November 19th, 2008 at 8:56 pmpermalink
I’m one of those people that you don’t know, but “ditto” everything Linz has said.
Coral
November 19th, 2008 at 10:03 pmpermalink
There are so many who are part of this wave of prayer Andy, its our privilege. We love to pray, and to pray for you. Thanks for being so open to sharing this amazing experience of being held and loved – and our prayers to the God who holds and hugs us, they wont stop, promise!
Richard and Caroline Mingay
November 19th, 2008 at 11:00 pmpermalink
That’s awesome.
I know whenever I pray for you I do so thinking of a reassuring if slightly awkward squeeze of the thigh.
Thinking of you.
L
Lloyd
November 19th, 2008 at 11:20 pmpermalink
Wow!!
I agree with Linz – thats what I was praying for too. So many people have been praying for you, and will continue to pray for you. Thanks for sharing this. I pray that you will continue to feel his peace.
Emma
November 19th, 2008 at 11:46 pmpermalink
What an amazing experience Andy. My Home League ladies were over the moon yesterday to know you had come through OK. We were praying for you whilst the operation was ongoing and they are continuing to pray for you now. There are so many people that you dont know who have been touched by your battle and just want to do the only thing they can, and that is pray: yes for your recovery but also that you will know God’s peace and in his own inimitable way he did just that. I have to admit to sitting here with tears pouring down my face. What an experience and the depth of your peace just comes through your words.
Jenny Dibsdall
November 20th, 2008 at 9:26 ampermalink
Hello Andy – just wanted you to know that we’re still thinking of you and reading your blog (and missing your professional help!).
It’s reassuring for all of us too to know that you have been feeling such depth of calm and encouragement through this latest scary phase.
Thinking of you often
J
James
November 20th, 2008 at 12:38 pmpermalink
Clossie says its amazing what vibes/prayers can do especially when they come from your favourite(or only!) uncle!!! and they’ll keep coming…… xx
clossie and the mavis
November 20th, 2008 at 6:38 pmpermalink
awesome. keep strong andy. superb to hear the great news. keep blogging!!!
and yes..I got the iPhone.
adam
November 21st, 2008 at 12:45 ampermalink
Speechless…
xxx Arna
(thinking of you, as ever)
Arna
November 21st, 2008 at 7:26 pmpermalink
Wow again! sounds like it was your guardian
angel–male, heavenly messenger, bringing
peace and reassurance–fits your description.
Truly an awesome experience! We are thrilled
with your amazing progress in 10 days–love and
prayers continue to come your way.
Mum and Dad
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:08 pmpermalink
I told your story to my congregation this morning as we had our prayer time. It was good for them to hear that their prayers are effective. They continue to pray for you and the family Andy. They were very touched by your forthrightness and by your experience. It has made their prayers tangible. You are doing so well. God bless.
Jenny Dibsdall
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:56 pmpermalink
I can’t really add anything witty or profound, except to say it’s amazing.
God is good.
Today is THANKSGIVING DAY!!!!!!!
J
Johnny Laird
November 27th, 2008 at 10:35 ampermalink
Yep! You are surrounded by prayer, love, best wishes and loads of people who are willing you through this Andy. We love you and continue to hold you in our thoughts and prayers. You deserve the best mate.
David and Sara
David Bruce
November 27th, 2008 at 9:47 pmpermalink
Andy, Amazing to read your blog. I am confident that this was God showing you how much He cares. Get well soon!
Gary
Gary Smith
November 28th, 2008 at 11:26 ampermalink
Hello, Andrew. Geoff and I have been part of your hidden support team like so many others. Thank you for sharing this marvellous experience so openly. You are going through so much, and I reckon God just wanted you to know he is there for you. He is so good.
Thanks for the photo, too – haven’t seen you since you were 14!
God bless
Christine Parkin
November 28th, 2008 at 12:12 pmpermalink
It was that randy old bugger who sleeps under the bed. He’s well known on that ward.
Steve Riches
February 10th, 2009 at 4:36 ampermalink
[...] think it has to be though, the moments I was “visited” in hospital immediately after the lung surgery by whatever it was. I just re-read that whole post [...]
Answers « Grumpy Old Git
February 18th, 2009 at 5:53 pmpermalink